Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Being United as Parents

 Philip saith unto him, Lord, shew us the Father, and it sufficeth us.
 Jesus saith unto him, Have I been so long time with you, and yet hast thou not known me, Philip? he that hath seen me hath seen the Father; and how sayest thou then, Shew us the Father?
 10 Believest thou not that I am in the Father, and the Father in me? the words that I speak unto you I speak not of myself: but the Father that dwelleth in me,...
 11 Believe me that I am in the Father, and the Father in me:...

John 17:22 And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one.

It is so important for our children to know that mom and dad are together on every issue that may arise in their lives. To change our own mind on an issue, or to have one parent of one mind and the other parent of another mind can cause some things to enter our family that we do not want. Some of these undesirable things can be confusion, contention, and diminished faith and confidence in parents. It can lessen the trust our children have in one parent or the other. Greater success in parenting comes when both parents are strong and decisive and firm about an issue. Whether the answer is yes or no.

If mom is asked about a certain issue or question by a child there should be no reason to ask the other parent. If they have asked one they have asked the other. There is no reason to go to mom if dad said no. The answer or decision will be the same, nothing wavering.

For parents, this is not easy. It takes time, thought and effort. It takes a little anticipation. And most importantly it takes communication. Parents have to talk through issues before they ever arise in the family. And, the way parents can make the best decisions is by reading the scriptures. They hold the standard of good, kind moral behavior for us all to follow.

Sometimes an issue will arise that the parents have not anticipated. Depending on the issue and depending on how far apart each parent is on the issue, some communication and uniting can be done right then with the child present. This helps show the parents commitment to being on the same page. If an issue is more difficult parents can defer until later, after they have had a chance to discuss it by themselves. Only when unity is achieved by the parents do they answer the issue for the child.

Consider this, if we prayed for an answer for a particular issue in our own lives and we immediately received an answer from the Holy Ghost and it wasn't what we wanted, would we ignore the answer and try and go around the Holy Ghost the next time? No, because we know that what ever answer we got from the Holy Ghost will be the same answer we will get from Jesus or from Heavenly Father. The result is that we trust all three.

As children know that about us as parents they will trust us both equally. And when they receive and answer it can be the end of the issue. What peace!

Explaining why we answer the way we do is for another discussion. But briefly, realize that when we give our answer to our children it is a TEACHING MOMENT. If they understand the "why" and we bear our testimony of the principle it is based on it will help them receive the instruction and develop it for their own. But that is for another day. Don't let me forget.

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